Saturday, March 30, 2013

Die Hard at the White House

So, I just saw Olympus Has Fallen... I liked it better when it was called Die Hard. IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! Please, for God's sake, have a little creativity Hollywood.

So, a bunch of terrorists come and hold people hostage in the White House, and only one man can save them. Take out the words "White House" and put in "Nakatomi Plaza" then you probably thought I was talking about John McClane. Okay, forget the fact that the concept is Die Hard, there are three or four scenes that are not "inspired" by Die Hard, they're stolen from it.

The scene where the top of the building gets destroyed and a helicopter crashes: Die Hard. The scene where the hero talks to a villain but doesn't know he's actually a villain until he blows his cover: Die Hard. The scene where the hero is all bloodied and calls his wife one last time before the final battle: Die Hard.

I'm not making this stuff up; this movie is a creative vacuum. Of course, Die Hard also made sense... this movie doesn't do that. How did a freaking cargo plane get that close to the White House until the Air Force said anything? Why did the secret service just bum-rush a machine gun turret? Why did it take so long for the Army to be mobilized? At least in Die Hard, the building the terrorists took over wasn't the center of American government, so the hostage scenario was feasible.

Also, while I'm at it, let me complain about its nationalistic overtones. America good, North Korea bad... what a deep and intellectual argument. Why is the main villain so hellbent on screwing over America? What are his motives? Well, as the tootsie pop commercial told us long ago, the world may never know. By the way, I thought this film played too heavily on post 9/11 paranoia. The destruction of the Washington Monument was a cheap gut shot aimed at just shocking the audience.

So, is there anything about this that doesn't suck? Well, it has some good action... things blow up and bad guys get shot... Oh, and Morgan Freeman's in there, that's pretty cool, right? I guess.

The bottom line is that if you have never seen Die Hard... or Air Force One or Rambo... then have at it. Just pardon the rest of us who are over 20 years old and have seen more than ten movies in our lives.