Django

Well, I just saw Django Unchained. I’m still digesting it, which is difficult as the movie is practically 3 hours. I suppose I’ll start with that, the length. Lincoln, which was a biopic, was shorter than this unedited Quentin Tarantino wet dream. Still, that’s not my main problem with the film. I will say, Django did maintain my interest for 2 hours and 45 minutes… which is impressive.

I will preface my following critique by applauding the movie. It’s well shot and well acted. It’s even entertaining. What more could you what? Well, Tarantino could have supplied Django with some morals. To explain, I will need to summarize the plot a bit. In Django, the titular character, Django, is a black slave. He’s freed by the bounty hunter, Dr. King Schultz, and he proceeds to work for him, killing white criminals. Later, Django, with help from Schultz, tries to rescue his wife. I will say, Django and Schultz’s friendship is wonderful and heartfelt. The problem is that Django, in his quest for his love, becomes the thing he hates.

Django literally lets a pack of dogs eat a black slave alive, just so that he can get his wife back. This scene is so messed up. The act itself is heinous, but the worst part is that Tarantino believes his audience will still think Django is doing the right thing. He’s not. There’s a name for toeing the line just so your family is kept safe: It’s the Nuremberg defense. It’s so sad because earlier in the film, Schultz tells Django an old myth of a hero who came to save his beloved from a dragon. Well, Django becomes that dragon.

While I’m at it, let me lament the fact that Tarantino follows one rule in filmmaking: shock the audience. I’m so damn tired of him showing me gruesome scenes just so the audience might think “Wow, Quentin Tarantino is so edgy.” If I saw one more ridiculous geyser of blood, I would have just stood up and laughed at the film. Django turns the serious topic of slavery into a cartoon or comic book.

This might seem like a non sequitur, but the movie made me really think about God. Honestly, the emptiness of this film’s moral landscape made me again realize that we need a perfect judge. We need a flawless creator. We need a God who is supremely good and who loves us completely. Django’s half baked attempt at making things right is not good enough. That’s because we as humans aren’t good enough. We need Jesus.

I tried to like Django, really I did. I just couldn’t. I can’t recommend it to anyone. It’s a slickly produced, bad movie. See The Hobbit instead.

I'm a Christian

I've decided to share that I have now become a Christian. Before May 22, 2012, I was a very hateful and depressed person. I was so lost, that on September 13, 2010, I nearly attempted suicide with a 9mm handgun. I didn't see God come down from the clouds and tell me not to do it, but my best friend knew what I was planning and called me before I was ready.  In his own way, God saved me through my friend, because he had a plan for me. It was nearly two years later before I figured that out though. In the meantime, I was trying to go through life my own way, and always failing.

It wasn't until I lay awake in bed one night full of fear and anger when I realized that things couldn't continue the way they were, or else I would just try to take my own life again. I felt compelled to read about Jesus, because out of all the religions and worldviews that I knew of, he was the only figure that offered pure love and forgiveness. I resisted for a long time, because I was an atheist, and I blamed God for my problems. Despite my disbelief, I started really reading the Bible, and in particular the Gospels for the first time. It didn't take long for my conversion to happen then. It was right at the Gospel of Matthew that I found that Jesus was a flawless moral teacher in the Sermon on the Mount. I read more and grew to understand that God unconditionally loved me, just the way I am.

It finally hit me that God's only son, Jesus Christ, willingly suffered and died for our sins. He saw how evil we were, but he decided to save us anyway; that is love beyond this world. I remember that day, May 22, and how I went from reading Jesus' words in the library, to walking directly to my car, sitting down, and praying a heartfelt prayer that I accepted Jesus as my savior.

I still struggle. I struggle a lot. I'm cowardly, greedy, and, like everyone else, reflect the image of imperfection. However, God loves me anyway, and through him I know I can better myself. Before I had no hope, now I can see glory beyond the horizon.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

Thomas Paine

Thomas Paine was our greatest founding father. He wasn't a hypocrite who talked about freedom on the one hand, but then owned slaves on the other. He donated all the profits he received from writing Common Sense to the efforts of the American Revolutionary War. He could have been a rich man, but he decided that liberty was a higher calling. John Adams said that "Without the pen of Paine, the sword of Washington would have been raised in vain."  He still could have just rested on his laurels after the war, but Paine took it upon himself to go to France and help out in the revolution there against the corrupt king and catholic church. Paine wrote the Rights of Man during this time, to defend the right for the French people to rebel and demand liberty.

Despite his hatred of monarchies, Paine did not want to execute king Louis, because he did not believe in revenge killings. This put him at odds with Robespierre, who imprisoned him and ordered him executed. He survived by mere chance, the guard who marked the prison doors to signal who was to executed accidentally marked on the wrong side of Paine's cell door, thus sparing his life. Thomas Paine literally almost died defending universal liberty.

In his time in captivity, Paine stayed busy. He wrote his opinion on religion and God, entitled The Age of Reason. Paine was a Deist, and he believed that all religions were "human inventions" and "set up to terrify and enslave mankind." In the Age of Reason, Paine attacked Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, but defended God as revealed by nature, God without religion. Paine's stated goal was to throw off the shackles of religion, just like he had thrown off the shackles of kings. Sadly, his work was not received well in America, as people had become more conservative since the revolution. Once Paine managed to return to America, he was targeted as an evil antichrist type figure, and even his friends abandoned him. Paine was left penniless and without anyone to turn to, as he faded into obscurity. Paine would still work, even becoming one of the first advocates of abolitionism. He also wrote a pamphlet, Agrarian Justice, that proposed creating an estate tax to fund a universal welfare program for the sick and elderly. Still, few wanted anything to do with him, and hatred was usually the only thing he got in return from so-called gentle Christians.

Thomas Paine was not a "sunshine soldier" this was a man who fought the good fight, who defended liberty for everyone, no matter the cost. He was a man who wrote in the common language, so every man, woman, and child could hear his arguments. Thomas Paine cannot be sugarcoated. His words are still available for anyone who wants to read them, and they still have the power to change minds in the service of liberty.

What I believe

As an Atheist, I’m often asked what I believe. I’m usually asked this once I disagree with someone’s religious viewpoint. It’s a tough question. As a religious person, you’re given quite a lot of slack for it. All you have to say if you’re a Christian is “I believe Jesus is Lord” or if you’re a Muslim, “I believe Allah told Muhammad to write the Quran.” At no point are the religious asked to detail their philosophy on life, they’re just asked to repeat lines of dogma. Atheists, however, are expected to have everything figured out, or else they’re seen as morally questionable. This is sadly to due to bigotry against those who think differently and just don’t believe in a god. Ah well, it’s an unfair world.

First and foremost, I’m a liberal. The root of liberal is liberty, so, if you believe in liberty, you’re a liberal. Pretty simple, huh? Unfortunately, many people view the word as a pejorative, but it’s really a badge of honor. I believe that no man can rule another. We are all born human, therefore no human should have the right to enslave another human, as we are all the same. To believe in liberty, one must realize that there is no Divine Right of Kings, because there is no god to inspire such a king. A king is merely a man, he has no special powers.

I believe in liberty because I understand human nature. According to archaeological finds, long before we could write or speak, we shared with one another in small roaming bands. We practiced altruism, we genuinely helped one another in spite of danger. You can see such practices in the animal kingdom. How apes will give food to their friends for no reason, and how elephants will mourn their dead and refuse to leave even if they haven’t eaten in a very long time. Humans, of course, show incredible practices of self-sacrifice, such as pulling their wounded away to safety in the midst of a fierce battle. Such practices show that mankind is not inherently evil. We might be a mixed bag, but we're not inherently evil. If we’re not inherently evil, then we have no original sin. If we have no original sin, then we can govern ourselves in peace, without the need of a dictatorship, be it heavenly or earthly.

I believe in the Golden Rule and giving a hand to those who have fallen on hard times. I believe this not because I hope for a reward in the afterlife, but because it just feels good to help someone. As long as humans can love one another, and take satisfaction in their relationships, they do not need a savior from the clouds.

1. Schindler's List (1993)

Oskar Schindler is one of my personal heroes. Here is a man who was vain, greedy, but still did the right thing when it counted. Schindler’s List shows the best and worst of humanity in a single film. Every human needs to see this movie as it will teach them the meaning of a simple act of kindness towards another. The film is about the Holocaust, but it’s really about the nature of man. Oskar Schindler is no Jew, he has nothing to gain from helping them, but when they come to work at his enamelware factory, he feels obligated to help them survive and escape the concentration camps. The ending of this film made me cry, and I am not ashamed of that fact. When Schindler is thanked by his Jewish workers for saving all 1000 of them, and given a crude ring by his secretary with the Talmudic words “Whoever saves one life saves the world entire” Schindler breaks down and weeps, knowing he could have saved even more if he sold some of his luxuries. He keeps saying “I could’ve got more” and each time he says it, you feel your heart break for such a flawed but noble man. This film could change a hate-filled heart to one of love, and for that, Schindler’s List is not only the most powerful movie ever made, it’s the greatest movie ever made.

2. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)

Luke has become a Jedi. He effortlessly infiltrates Jabba the Hutt’s palace and sail barge and saves Han from his carbonite prison. Still, the galaxy is a long way off from being at peace, and Luke and his friends must launch one last assault on the Empire to end the war once and for all. I will make a concession, despite me believing that this is the best out of the Star Wars trilogy, I don’t like the Ewoks… in fact, I detest them. The strength of this movie is how epic it is in spite of those furry little puppets. The final battle in space against dozens of star destroyers and the second Death Star is just absurdly awesome. The rebels, despite being outmanned and outgunned, give the Empire a hell of a fight. One of my favorite scenes in all movie history is in this film. When Luke refuses to become Palpatine’s dark apprentice and Palpatine mercilessly shoots him with bolts of lightning, Darth Vader silently looks at his suffering son, then at the Emperor, then at his son again, until he makes up his mind. He becomes Anakin Skywalker once more, as he, with just one arm, picks up Palpatine, all the while being shocked with electricity, and throws him into a pit. As Anakin lays dying from his wounds, Luke says “Father, I’ve got to save you” but Anakin, knows his fate and thanks his son by saying “You already have." Return of the Jedi could get to the number two spot just for this one scene of redemption from past mistakes.

3. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

After the Rebellion blows up the Death Star, things seem bright, but it’s very fleeting. The Empire is cracking down, and soon they even find the secret rebel base on the ice planet Hoth. The good guys are on the run, and they can’t find any relief. In a single moment of luck, Luke goes to planet Dagobah and finds the Jedi master Yoda, who trains him in the force. Before Luke can get any respite however, he senses danger to Leia and Han, and he, against the wishes of Yoda, goes to Cloud City to save them. The Empire Strikes back is notable for being the first in the series to have a true lightsaber fight (Obi-Wan and Vader’s fight was pretty weak) and for having such a bleak tone in comparison to the original. Most consider this the best Star Wars film of all time, but I respectfully disagree. The trip to Dagobah was honestly boring, the film ends on a cliffhanger, and quite frankly, I prefer my films to be uplifting, not dark and somber. Still, The Empire Strikes Back is one of the best films ever made, and it’s on the number three spot for a reason.

4. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (1977)

Star Wars is the most iconic movie series of all time. From the goofy droid C-3PO, to the brash and arrogant smuggler Han Solo, to the wise Obi-Wan Kenobi, to the stuck up Princess Leia, to the huge but lovable wookiee Chewbacca, to the lead farm boy himself, Luke Skywalker, Star Wars has the most memorable original cast you’ll ever meet. A New Hope introduces these characters, and how they must fight the evil Galactic Empire, led by Emperor Palpatine and his apprentice, who is also Luke’s father, Darth Vader. It’s a high-spirited adventure, and our heroes must learn to deal with one another and somehow stop the Empire’s new weapon, the planet destroying Death Star. The sequence of where Luke shoots his proton torpedoes into the Death Star’s exhaust port is just classic, hell, this whole movie is classic.

5. Ghostbusters II (1989)

I know most people must think I’m nuts for putting Ghostbusters so high, and having the sequel beat the original. Well, I don’t care. I love Ghostbusters, and especially Ghostbusters 2. How Ghostbusters 2 gets lumped in with bad sequels still boggles my mind. Everything is just better. As crazy as Stay Puft and Gozer were, the new villain, Vigo the Carpathian, is much more imposing. Ghostbusters 2 is more than a comedy, it’s about a group of normal guys who rise up in incredible circumstances to become heroes. As David Bowie once said “turn and face the strange.” Basically, a river of slime flows under New York City, and Vigo, an evil entity trapped in a painting, is responsible for it. The city is falling apart, and soon enough, the mayor comes to the Ghostbusters to save the city, as they’re the only ones who can do it. Ghostbusters 2 is just epic, and when the crew gets the Statue of Liberty to break into Vigo’s lair, I still flip out. Don’t listen to the critics, Ghostbusters 2 is a winner.

6. Ghostbusters (1984)

Ghostbusters is about a team of paranormal investigators who capture troublesome spooks with their “proton packs.” The movie is funny, but more than that, it’s heartfelt. You really care about these characters, and you want them to succeed.  Ghostbusters was a blockbuster, and it inspired cartoons, video games, action figures, and a sequel that, in my opinion, is superior. Despite that though, Ghostbusters was the original, and it paved the way for the better Ghostbusters 2. Again, don't get me wrong, the first Ghostbusters is one of my favorite films, and I'll never forget how the boys in gray had to cross streams to defeat the giant Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Anyway, it's got to be said, so I'll just say it... Who Ya Gonna Call?

7. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

Randle McMurphy is a free spirit in a world of rules and confinements. It comes to bite him in the ass though, as he ends up going to prison for it. McMurphy is a cunning devil however, and he fakes mental illness to avoid hard labor, so he can go to the psychiatric hospital for a cushier environment. What he doesn’t know though, is life is actually going to get a lot worse, and he’ll wish he stayed in prison. Once McMurphy enters the hospital, he meets the steely eyed, heartless Nurse Ratched, who’s out to make everyone in her ward’s life a living hell. She subtly embarrasses the other patients, and maintains ridiculous rules designed to keep everyone in their place. McMurphy challenges Ratched’s authority, and becomes the de facto leader of the other mental patients. He tries to teach them to grab life by the balls, and not to let Ratched push them around. Eventually, things come to head, and things will never be the same. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest is a story about liberty and the pursuit of happiness, a true American film, and its ending scene of the Indian running off into the break of dawn to find his own way is poetry on film.

8. Blade Runner (1982)

Blade Runner is the original cyberpunk movie. It’s also one of the most inspired science fiction films to ever make it out of Hollywood. Of course, it’s hard to talk about any single version of Blade Runner, as its director, Ridley Scott, is a perfectionist and has released numerous different editions from the theatrical cut, to the laserdisc cut, to the so called Final Cut. Whatever version you see though, you can’t really go wrong. The plot follows Rick Deckard, a “blade runner” whose job consists of tracking down and “retiring” (killing) bioengineered beings called Replicants. Blade Runner is a neo-noir film, and is basically a futuristic detective tale. It’s also a tale about what can be considered human, in an era where high technology reigns. Blade Runner’s visuals are just phenomenal, and the lighting in particular sparkles in this new world. Blade Runner will make you wonder what’s real and when life begins. It also has the greatest soliloquy in movie history, Tears in Rain, spoken by Roy, the Replicant leader.

9. Donnie Darko (2001)

Donnie Darko is the same type of philosophical movie as 2001: A Space Odyssey… only it’s entertaining. Seriously, even if you don’t get the film, and I don’t think anyone does including myself, you’re still going to enjoy watching it. There’s even humor in it as well (the conversation about the Smurfs had me almost laughing to death). Donnie Darko is an eclectic blend of different film styles, all served up to a modern audience who usually don’t care about the hard questions in life. The plot focuses on a troubled teenager who wakes up one night to a... um, well, to a guy in a giant bunny rabbit suit who tells him the world is going to end in 28 days. The story just gets weirder from there, but like I said, you’re entertained the whole way through. The film focuses on themes of depression and loneliness, which is perfect for its intended audience, young adults. I’m still not 100 percent certain on all the details of the plot, like why did Donnie have to burn down the pedophile’s house if the action would be reversed anyway and wouldn’t matter? These questions don’t detract from the film, they actually provide good philosophical discussions with fellow movie-lovers. Remember, destruction is a form of creation.

10. The Dark Knight (2008)

It might be a little early to call this one, and to put it so high… but I have a feeling that history is going to look kindly on The Dark Knight. This is simply the pinnacle of superhero movies, and it reaches beyond the mere typical summer popcorn muncher, to the heights of a soaring phoenix. The Dark Knight is about Batman, the man of the night, the defender of Gotham City. This is not a comic book though, so don’t expect easy fights and easy moral choices. No, this is a mature Batman for a mature audience. Basically, the Joker is in town, and he aims to not only destroy the city, but to show everyone in it that the basic of idea of goodness is a lie. He’s a maniacal villain, and only Batman can stop him. The scene where the two groups of passengers on separate ships must decide whether they’re going to kill the other group to survive Joker’s sinister game is one of the most taut and suspenseful scenes I’ve ever watched. The film also brings Gotham City to life with gorgeous architecture that, while modern, still gives off a gothic vibe. The Dark Knight is Batman come to life.

11. The NeverEnding Story (1984)

The NeverEnding Story is the only explicit children’s film on my list. This says two things. Firstly, I usually don’t consider children’s films genuine works of art. Secondly, The NeverEnding Story is one of the few exceptions to that rule. This film is so magical and delightful that it will warm the heart of even the most jaded adult. The story’s main premise is that if you don’t read, the history of written worlds will be forgotten, consumed by “The Nothing.” There are two heroes in the movie, Bastian, the boy reading the book, The NeverEnding Story, and Atreyu, the boy inside its pages. They both encounter incredible characters from a racing snail, to the imposing but gentle Rockbiter who’s literally made out of rocks, to the most majestic dweller of Fantasia, the “luckdragon” known as Falkor. The whole experience is a children’s story worth hearing, and if you don’t imagine riding on the back of Falkor as he’s soaring above the clouds then you have no soul.     

12. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

2001: A Space Odyssey is mostly boring. That’s the truth. However, notice I used the word “mostly.” That’s because when 2001 isn’t full of drawn out scenes of a space station turning in orbit, it has scenes that tickle your brain and do what only art can do, make you think.  The film is about an ancient and mysterious artifact, The Monolith. Before The Monolith came, our ape-like ancestors could not use tools, after it came, they could. The main character of the movie, an astronaut named David Bowman, meets The Monolith again out in space at the end of the movie, and the scene that plays out is just stunning. You see Bowman meeting progressively older versions of himself, culminating in him seeing the Earth as a giant infant, suggesting The Monolith has guided humans through evolution and that mankind has only just begun to fulfill its potential. 2001 will bore you mostly, but the moments where it doesn’t will inspire you and make you wonder about our origins.

13. Taxi Driver (1976)

Taxi Driver is a meditation on Nihilism. Nothing Travis does seems to matter. He desperately tries to make a difference, but, like the ancient myth of Sisyphus, who had to push a boulder all the way up a hill only to watch it roll back down everyday, Travis isn’t making any progress in life. He’s a mere taxi driver, and he needs something to do. Finally, he works out, shaves his head and purchases a gun to kill a presidential candidate. He’s not even political, he just wants to kill someone important so that he’ll be important. Luckily, fate intervenes, and a 12 year old girl who’s being used as a prostitute needs his help. For once, Travis can be important, without any artificiality. Taxi Driver is a poetic but disturbed vision.

14. Apocalypse Now (1979)

War sucks, and no film has ever done as good a job showing that as Apocalypse Now. In Apocalypse Now, Colonel Kurtz has lost his mind in the middle of the Vietnam War. He’s commanding troops with the will of a dictator, ordering them to do crazy things, all the while being completely separated from his chain of command. It has to stop, and Captain Willard is the assassin for the job. Willard, in the course of the war, has become somewhat insane as well, and the only thing he can think to do with his time is fight. He knows nothing else, and the war is always with him. The insanity of war is exemplified in the exchange Willard has with a random soldier in the midst of a nighttime assault by the Vietcong. Willard asks the soldier who’s in charge, and the man's only response is “Ain’t you?” Vietnam was a senseless war, and Apocalypse Now shows this in its entirety, what happens when a man loses himself in blood. Also, stay away from Apocalypse Now Redux… it’s genuinely awful. All I can remember is that Willard was in some random colonial house talking with a bunch of French people about politics for an hour. It was painful, stick with the original.

15. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

Space: the final frontier… yeah, you know the rest. The original cast stayed in their respective roles from 1966 to 1991. That’s 25 years of Star Trek. In all that time, they weren’t able to top this theatrical triumph. Director Nicholas Meyer wisely chose to bring back Star Trek’s best villain, Khan. In the tv show, Khan was a genetically engineered tyrant who was defeated by Kirk and marooned on the planet Ceti Alpha V. Now, Khan has escaped, and plots his revenge on Kirk and the Enterprise. The film succeeds due to exhilarating scenes of space combat and moments where Kirk truly looks beaten. Star Trek II will also make a trekkie cry. “I have been and always shall be your friend.”       

16. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

With the return of Gandalf, or rather, Gandalf the White, and the addition of powerful new allies like the Ents, the King of Rohan and his forces, and even a freaking ghost army, things are looking up in Return of the King. Until, the final battle actually begins and the men of Middle-Earth and their allies realize they cannot win against Sauron’s army. It finally comes down on the small shoulders of the hobbits Frodo and Sam to climb Mount Doom and throw the godforsaken ring into its fires. The scene of where Sam is carrying Frodo up Mount Doom is just the epitome of an unconditional friendship. The Return of the King is expertly crafted and I still don’t know how Peter Jackson managed to film those outrageously astonishing battle scenes… maybe he had a little help with Gandalf and one of his spells?

17. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

As Gandalf falls down a pit fighting the incredible power of the Balrog, the Fellowship manages to escape the mines of Moria. No one knows what became of Gandalf, and the fellowship becomes divided as the hobbits Frodo and Sam leave to go to Mordor alone as they fear the power of the ring may corrupt the other members. The Two Towers is when the story really heats up, as the Battle of Helms Deep and the battle Isengard both occur in this film. It goes without saying that the fight scenes are just stupendous and is the definition of movie magic. You really feel the clang of swords and the whooshing by of incoming arrows. There has to be tens of thousands of actors in each of the battles and how Peter Jackson managed all of it still baffles me. Either way, while this is the middle of the story, and is bound to leave you on a cliffhanger, it doesn’t even matter because you’re enjoying the ride the whole way through. I mean, how can you not love a giant tree army destroying a bunch of orcs?

18. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

The Lord of the Rings is basically the Star Wars of fantasy films. It’s the magnum opus of Peter Jackson and it’s easy to see the love and care he put into the film projects. The story takes place in the fictional realm of Middle-Earth, and it’s a swords and shields fantasy setting with plenty of mythical creatures strewn about. The plot centers around an evil entity named Sauron, and the quest to defeat him by destroying the One Ring. Destroying a little ring sounds easy, but trust me, it’s not. To do it, the Fellowship, a noble but rag-tag motley crew of warriors, must throw the ring into the fires of Mount Doom in the depths of the sinister and orc infested Mordor. This is a tall task, and it’s evidenced by the fact that this is only the first out of three movies telling the deed. The movie starts out a little too slow, honestly, as it centers around some hobbit festivities for too long. However, once it picks up pace you’ll see Frodo (the ring bearer and main hero) running from all sorts of danger while his stronger companions save his hide with the help of their trusty swords, bows, and axes. The Fellowship is a great start to the film trilogy, but I thought it took a little too long to get things going. Still, with Gandalf’s epic confrontation with the fiery Balrog, it was more than worth it.

19. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Indiana Jones is the best adventure you’ll ever have sitting down watching a movie. From the incredible first sequence of Indy going into a booby-trapped ruined temple and running away from a giant boulder, Raiders of the Lost Ark put moviegoers on the edge of their seat. The story centers around Indy trying to find the legendary Lost Ark, the chest built for the Ten Commandments. The Ark is said to have incredible power, and could lead a nation to victory in war. This, of course, is what brings the Nazis in search of it, and they make a good detestable villain. Raiders is a great time, just don’t look directly at the screen, or your face might get burned off… actually, it’s worth it, so watch it anyway.

20. Children of Men (2006)

What would you do if the sound of children’s laughter faded away forever? You’d probably lose hope. This is the story of Children of Men, a film about just such a tragic idea. In this movie’s world, women are infertile, they cannot bear children. This means that the populace is aging, and they have no children to pass on their dreams to. In this dark world comes salvation. There’s one woman who, miraculously, is pregnant! The story focuses on one man, Theo, and his role in safeguarding this woman and her baby. Theo is a man who just doesn’t give a shit anymore, his son died in infancy, his wife left him, and he, like everyone else, is growing older and even more jaded. Yet despite such circumstances, Theo begins to believe in a better future again. This is a movie about hope, and if you have a soul, you will treasure it.

21. Rocky (1976)

Rocky puts other sports movies to shame. The story focuses on a young man, Rocky Balboa who tries to make it in Philadelphia as a boxer. Although Rocky is a tough guy, he has a heart of gold and adores his girlfriend Adrian. Eventually, Rocky makes it big and fights the undefeated heavyweight champion of the world, Apollo Creed. In this fight, they go all out, and Apollo, nearly exhausted, says to Rocky, “we’re not doing this again.” In the end though, Rocky loses, albeit barely… but it doesn’t matter to him. He proved himself in the ring with Apollo Creed, and the crowd erupts in raucous applause for Rocky. In the aftermath, Rocky calls out to Adrian, and they embrace for all their love is worth. Rocky is triumphant in the face of defeat.

22. Akira (1988)

Akira is a mindfuck. I could end the review on that, really, but it would be doing a disservice to how great a film it is. As a dark animated tale that’s set in a post-apocalyptic future, Akira blew people away when it came to American theaters in the late 80’s. Americans were used to Loony Tunes and maybe a couple of Ninja Turtles, certainly not an animated setting where people die, and die violently. Akira is a landmark in Japanese filmmaking. The first animated work to have lip synched dialogue, and with a whopping 160,000 animation cels, Akira was a blockbuster. The plot focuses on an ordinary bike gang in the post-apocalyptic Neo Tokyo. Best friends Kaneda and Tetsuo soon experience the strangeness of psychic powers and secret military experiments and learn just what happened to make their home into a hellhole. Akira is one of a kind; don’t discriminate against it just because it’s animated.  

23. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

He said he would be back, and he meant it. Like Aliens, Terminator 2 is better than the original in every conceivable way. The explosions are bigger and the story this time around is actually heartfelt. After failing to go back in the past and destroy the human resistance leader's mother, Sarah Connor, the machines try to return one more time, this time targeting the rebel general himself, John Connor, only as he’s a boy. The machines send their best Terminator, the T-1000 to do the job. This machine is composed of liquid metal, and can reform itself even after being heavily damaged. All seems lost, until the humans from the future send their own captured Terminator back to help John. This is where the story gets really good, because the Terminator they send, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger as in the first Terminator film, actually develops feelings for John. The ending is so good because Arnold’s Terminator actually commits a noble sacrifice that shows that all beings can love, if given the chance. It may sound a bit mushy for an action film, but it works.

24. Aliens (1986)

Thought one alien was scary? Yeah, how about a thousand of them? Luckily for you, Ellen Ripley is back, and she’s still the most hardcore chick in space. After the attack of the first alien on the star ship Nostromo, Ellen Ripley is the only survivor. After killing the beast, she sits in stasis waiting to be picked up for 57 years. When she’s finally revived, the Weyland Corporation, her employer, doesn’t believe her story. It’s not until a mysterious attack occurs on a colony where the Nostromo’s crew found the first alien egg that Ripley is called back into duty. This time, Ripley is accompanied by a rough and tumble assortment of space marines, and they mean to kick some alien ass. Unfortunately for them, the aliens are more than they can handle, and decimate the platoon. Those left, led by Ripley and Corporal Hicks must find a way to survive and get off the planet. Sounds pretty intense huh? Yup, it is. Aliens is a movie that outdoes its predecessor in every way, there’s just more going on in every scene. That, and the movie’s finale is just sick, and you’ll be wetting your seat when you see the big mama, the alien queen.

25. Army of Darkness (1992)

“This is my boomstick!” Army of Darkness is a delectable witches’ brew of stop motion horror and quotable slapstick mayhem. Make no mistake, Army of Darkness is lowbrow entertainment of the lowest order, and that’s what makes it great. The little story that exists in the movie basically shows Ash, the hero of the last two films, being sucked back into the past (1300 AD to be precise). There, Ash becomes the savior of the townsfolk, launching on a mission to destroy the evil Deadites. As fitting for a black comedy, he screws up. Ash is just hilarious, and his awesome one-liners could fill The Necronomicon. Also, if you love old traditional effects like Ray Harryhausen’s Clash of the Titans, you’ll fall head over heels for Army of Darkness’ creatures. Just remember, “Shop smart, shop S-Mart.”

Top 25 Movies of All Time

Well, I'm bored. So, I think I'm going to do one last list. I'm a bit of a film-buff, so I figured why not make it on movies? I considered making this a top 50, like I did with the video games list... but honestly, I just don't have the energy for that. Anyway, 25 is still a lot, right? Also, I haven't finished this list before-hand this time, so it's going to take me a little while to write.

1. Dragon Ball Z

I honestly don’t even know where to begin talking about Dragon Ball Z. It’s a cultural phenomenon, but more than that, it was my childhood. I used to run home after school just to catch Dragon Ball Z on Cartoon Network’s anime block, Toonami. I remember the pumping electronic rock soundtrack by Bruce Falconer. I remember the crazy fights with Kamehamehas being fired by heroes that could destroy planets with their power. There’s just so much to say about DBZ, and so little space. The characters are just iconic, with Goku, the peaceful alien Saiyan who grew up on Earth and will protect life in all of its forms, to the goofy bald headed Krillin, to the wise and battle hardened green Namekian, Piccolo, to Goku’s own young son, Gohan, who has an enormous power hidden deep within him. Out of all the characters though, Goku is the most well-known, and for good reason. I’ll be honest, Goku, although fictional, is a person that inspires me. I actually think that Goku is a role model right up there with Oskar Schindler, Martin Luther King, and Gandhi. Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous, but when I was a child, I was literally changed by Goku’s attitude and way of life. He detests violence but will never back down when evil threatens the weak. One of my favorite quotes from him, as he turns into a “Super Saiyan” and fights the evil space tyrant Frieza who has just killed his friend, is this “I am the hope of the universe! I am the answer to all living things that cry out for peace! I am protector of the innocent! I am the light in the darkness! I am truth! Ally to good! Nightmare to you!” This is the stuff of legends. If you want a child to be raised with good morals, let him watch Dragon Ball Z. I’m serious. Goku always does the right thing and even his enemies like the ruthless Saiyan prince Vegeta are changed by his heart and eventually convert to being one of the good guys. The show itself is full of ripped guys shooting energy blasts at each other and doing martial arts so fast that your eyes can barely keep up. The only bad thing about Dragon Ball Z is that the show is full of filler and stupid side-stories. Get past the junk though, and a treasure chest filled with gold awaits. Dragon Ball Z is not only the definitive action anime, it is the greatest animated show that has been made or ever will be made.

2. Cowboy Bebop

Cowboy Bebop is cool. It’s a show about four (initially two) bounty hunters set in the backdrop of the far future in outer space on the ship, The Bebop. The show is hip and is backed up with a mellow jazz soundtrack done by the eclectic group, The Seatbelts. Cowboy Bebop is, like its lesser spiritual successor, Samurai Champloo, episodic. Don’t let that fool you into thinking that it’s a throw-away plot though. Cowboy Bebop shines as a tale of camaraderie through hardship. The Bebop’s crew consists of Spike, the laid back but kickass main character of the story, to Jet, the former police detective with a robotic arm, to Faye, a beautiful young woman with a mysterious past, to Ed, a little girl who’s a whiz at computer hacking. While they never would admit it, they are a family. They catch bounties to scratch on by, but sooner or later, bigger events shape up and confront the Bebop crew, and each must face their destiny. The show consists of epic gun shoot-outs to a wonderful film-noir feel that recalls movie classics like Chinatown… only in space. The final showdown with the series’ main bad guy, Vicious, is basically Rambo in anime form. It’s badass. Cowboy Bebop is art and it is flawless, but it’s still not my favorite animated series.

3. Trigun

Trigun initially won’t leave a great impression on you. That’s the honest truth. Give it a chance to get going though, and you won’t regret it. Trigun’s story centers around a gunslinger known as Vash the Stampede, or otherwise known as the Humanoid Typhoon. He has these monikers because Vash has the uncanny ability for everything around him to be mysteriously destroyed. Once you actually meet the guy though, you realize that he’s as sweet as a kitten and absolutely detests violence and death. He detests it so much that despite the 60 billion double dollars on his head, he won’t kill any of the bounty hunters after him or even kill any villains who try to harm his friends. Vash will reluctantly injure them, but that’s it. Just who is this man and where did he come from? These answers, and others, are revealed in a meticulously brilliant manner. Trigun is about life, and how precious it is, and Vash is the perfect dude to explain it to you. Also, Trigun has the coolest support character, the cross toting priest Nicholas D. Wolfwood.